I don’t have many words today but still wanted to share a moment with you. So I spent some time enjoying myself with my Koigu lace scarf-to-be and a lovely earthenware pot my son made in school.
One of the things that never ceases to amaze me about my children is how creative they are. They keep coming up with things I did not know they could do. We are a very visually oriented lot. Even when he was very young, my son was always creating little panoramas with objects he liked, just for the sheer joy of ‘creating a pretty picture’. We are all very much about beautiful things, cloud shapes, a tiny flower in a field of grass and a lovely ladybug on a leaf. And we are very touchy-feely.
I sometimes pity the guy in the house, who was not raised with a lot of hugging and touching and is very much of the quintessentially Dutch (or rather quintessentially Friesian, my mistake) ‘just act normal, that’s weird enough for us’ persuasion. He keeps getting bombarded with (in his eyes) weird thoughts and ideas, particularly by my son and myself (our daughters being a bit young for the weird and off-beat as yet, although the guy must be fearing for our youngest). He will probably go to his grave with an eyebrow glued to his hairline.
On the other hand I sometimes pity myself. It can be very annoying to be hugely enthusiastic about something and receive a tepid and usually somewhat bored ‘Oh yes that’s nice’ response delivered without any inflection. Which is usually what happens. I used to let it dampen my own enthusiasm, which led to a fair amount of conflict between us. These days I just let it be and go about my own way.
It is more difficult to shrug off when I am sad or hurting, however. While these days I do understand that it is not so much not caring as not knowing how to express emotions, and I also know that it is as difficult for him to deal with all my big and intensely felt emotions, it can make me feel very lonely and unsupported to not receive an appropriate response. It is something we are both working hard to improve.
So in the end, there were more words than I thought. I hope you enjoy the photos.