Friday Flash Fiction

Image

First Light

They were the last to board.

As she ushered her children up the steps, she looked back at the limousine that had brought them here from the Mountains and waved. JK had been a good friend through this first gathering.

‘For Love and Light and the Good of the World’, the extraordinary invitation had said. She had wondered why her. ‘Ah… but you understand what the Good of the World really means. We have scientists and designers and politicians, but we were still missing Love and Light,’ said JK when asked. She supposed they knew what they were doing.

Of course, she never saw the bright golden light that surrounded her and her children. But they knew.

_______________________

117 words

_______________________

This is my first submission for the Friday Fictioneers. Every week the inimitable Rochelle Wisoff-Fields posts an image on her blog and challenges people from around the world to write a one hundred word word story ‘with a beginning, middle and end’ and post the link to her blog.

Admittedly my first submission is 117 words but I felt that taking away more words would have taken away from the story. I am notoriously verbose so I actually think I did quite well.

I first read about the challenge on J.K. Bradley’s blog (discover it here) after he liked one of my earlier blog posts. He wrote a creepy contribution that made me curious about the Friday Fictioneers and well… The rest is recent history. So yes, J.K., the guy in my story is named after you. I hope you are suitably flattered!

The inspiring photo for this week’s challenge came courtesy of Rich Voza. Visit Rochelle’s blog here to read some other amazing submissions. And I would welcome your comments, of course.

For the curious: ‘Gold is the color of enlightenment and divine protection. When seen within the aura, it says that the person is being guided by their highest good. It is divine guidance. Protection, wisdom, inner knowledge, spiritual mind, intuitive thinker.’

It might surprise you that I did not know this when I wrote my story. I’ll make an even crazier confession: When I was pregnant with my eldest daughter Isabeau, I/we breathed golden light. Which is whence my inspiration for this little story came.

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41 thoughts on “Friday Flash Fiction

  1. hi and welcome. one of the annoying things i do with many entries is to find those that are well above 100 words and try editing them down to 100. i noticed you used a past perfect tense for most of it, and although it might be effective, it cranks up the word count because of the helping verbs necessary, mainly “had.” so here’s my editing, and you can feel free to discard it, delete it, ignore it, or compare it to your version. i know it’s annoying, but it’s fun for me.

    as for the story, i get a feel of something like scientology/cult going on. perhaps i’m falling victim to propaganda of the reality, but that’s what the story feels like. either way, well done.
    ____________________________

    They boarded last.
    Ushering her children up the steps, she looked back, waving at the limousine that brought them from the Mountains. JK was a good friend through this first gathering.
    ‘For Love, Light and the Good of the World’, the extraordinary invitation had said. She wondered why her. ‘Ah… but you understand what the Good of the World really means. We have scientists, designers, politicians, but we’re still missing Love and Light,’ said JK. She supposed they knew what they were doing.
    Of course, she never saw the bright golden light surrounding her and her children. But they knew.

    • Hi Rich,

      Thanks for your welcome and interesting edit of my story. I wrote in past perfect because that is how the story ‘talked to me’. I do like your version too, however, and it has the added advantage of being 100. 😉

      Funny you should mention scientology. There is a ‘church’ in Amsterdam, of course. As a student, I was once invited in and explained the theory. I picked a fight because they wouldn’t give another girl back her money and then ran out as fast as my legs could carry me. Dogma has never worked for me, particularly when you have to pay for it.

      So that was not the idea behind the story but the interesting thing about these short stories is that you get to paint your own picture around them, isn’t it?

      • yes, that is a good part, the painting. something in the wording about how she didn’t see the golden light but “they” did, so it was okay, and the limo ride, made it seem like a secure escort of some kind of cult-like place.

    • Thanks, Joe! I’m pleased to be joining your little community and look forward to every fascinating interpretation of the images!

  2. Welcome! You’re well and truly hooked now. Every week you’ll be waiting for Wednesday’s prompt. 🙂 But it’s a great addiction. I felt like Rich did about the cult. In fact, I thought I saw Tom Cruise jumping on a couch. 🙂

    janet

    • Hi janet,
      Thanks for your welcome! I think I just might be developing a new addiction. I love how each individual makes the images his or her own and how their own style shines through. It is also interesting to hear how others read my own. You may have your pictures in your head when you write but it is so nice to see comments on what others ‘see’.

  3. hi — welcome – that was a fine piece that makes me intrigued to read more. What I found is that the editing to 100 words started to make me see when my prose wasn’t tight. – bw

    • Hi, thanks for the compliment! I often have that with the flashes of other people – Oh do tell me more! And like I said I tend to be verbose (don’t you just love the words that nobody uses anymore?) so that is something these flashes will help me work on.

  4. Thank you Sandra. It is nice that you picked up on the feel-good factor because that is how I wrote the piece. It is a lovely challenge to try and communicate the mood and setting in so few words.

  5. Dear iris,

    Welcome aboard. I hope to see more of your work each week. I got a decided end of the world feel to your story, like the conclusion of the movie Knowing and it read and felt great. Very smooth and effortless. Well done.

    aloha,

    Doug

    • Dear Doug,

      It is lovely to join the group and I am certainly looking forward to more. I’m really pleased with your compliment, thank you!
      I’m looking forward to reading the other submissions this weekend.

  6. Dear Iris,
    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. It’s a lot like Hotel California. You can check out any time but you can never leave.
    Nice first story. I liked the golden light. I want to know more. I’ll look forward to reading more of you in the future.
    Thanks for your kind comments on my story.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    • Dear Rochelle,
      Thank you for the compliment. I will definitely be back for more because I love how the images inspire such different stories. I suspect that perhaps it is also fertile soil for nurturing new ideas and works so I am looking forward to next week already!

  7. Hi Iris
    I really enjoyed your story this week and welcome to FF. I should warn you that you’ve joined us in a week where anarchy seems to be taking over. There’s collaborations, people borrowing words from others, sequels to sequels to old FF stories and all kinds.
    Some things never change though – like Rich trying to make us all stick to 100 words 🙂

    • Hi,
      Thanks for your welcome. I’m always in for some anarchy so bring it on!
      I’ll admit I sacrificed the word count for content this time. Maybe I’ll just annoy Rich every time and add 1 or 2 words just to see which ones he’ll delete 😉

  8. I very much liked this, and I’m interested to hopefully hear more. Even if it requires an additional 17 words =)

    • Thank you, I’ll definitely be back for more. It is a wonderful challenge to paint a picture in just 100 (plus 17) words!

  9. Hi – and welcome too…I like the story, very mysterious indeed…a testament to the loving family, and there is just a slight edge to it, yes..a possibility that it might not be all good. Well written, thank you.

    • I guess this is the kind of story that would probably involve some sinister stuff – that’s just how people are, aren’t they? Thanks for the compliment!

  10. Hello, Iris!
    Glad you could make it! Even better that you WROTE something. 😉
    If you ever need some help or feedback with your story before you publish, let me know. This can be a LOT of fun to do.
    As Rochelle says, there is no 12-step for curing this addiction!!! 😀
    Kent

    • Hello Kent,
      That is a very generous offer and I will keep it in mind if I ever get stuck along the way. I think this might fast become an addiction, you are totally right 🙂

    • I had to look up Jonestown because I had no idea.. That is pretty awful and I don’t think I could manage to write something that dark. So it must be you 😉
      It is interesting to me that so many people refer to a darker side in the story. I’ll definitely have to give that some thought, perhaps in further instalments in the future…

  11. On behalf of the fictioning horde i bid you Welcome!

    Your contribution packs a well written punch. Mystery and intrigue. A well rounded foundation for a broader story. Perhaps you will expand?

    I do tend to lean towards the dark and creepy, and I’ve wondered how my contribution would be measured, then I thought about yin and yang and how you can’t know light without dark, and then I thought fuck it, it’s fun. I am incredibly flattered and should you ever make this into a film I ask you try to get Brad Pitt to play the JK role. Because that would give me a great ice-breaker for approaching Angelina.

    Keep on keepin’ on!

    And, JK is completely flattered.

  12. Hello Iris, welcome to Friday Fictioneers. I like how your story is open to so many interpretations. I like stories that make me work a little harder. Nice writing.

    • Hello Claire, thanks for the thoughtful compliment. I like those stories, too, although I have to admit I have great admiration for those who manage a clear-cut beginning and end!

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